The Devil Wears Duct Tape

The room I’m typing this in is about as hot
As Hell because most of the underworld is not
Torrid at all because the many scientists there
Discovered over time how to manipulate the air
And, feeling like it was early May
I saw the man whom many say
Can take your soul and give you fame
While neither is true – he did know my name

He looked about fifty – but wasn’t that young
He has horns and a tail, which both clearly clung
To him with the help of tape that my eyes were seeing
Other than that he looked completely like a human being
He spoke to me in a voice that could have come from a Bob
And asked me quite seriously if I wanted his job

I shouted, “Of course not! I came to rescue
My girlfriend who you said is down here with you!”

“I figured you’d say that,” he said with a sigh
“Nobody wants to do my job, not even me so I try
Every chance I get to transfer this burden
And I can’t quit on all these people that much is for certain”

I told him I thought many would want to rule Hell
He said they were probably too immoral to do it well
Morality mattering here seems strange if you forget
That you can spend a day here without breaking a sweat


Then he told me that if I would be spending time below
There were certain things that I would have to know
And he told me that how well I learned this information
Could determine whether I would avoid frustration
But he wouldn’t tell me what I needed to succeed
Out loud – instead he gave me a pamphlet to read