The Divided States of America

While that was disturbing and probably broke some sort of law
It was by far not the most alarming thing today that I saw
I have become such a bored and useless shell of a man
That I watched CNN borrowing heavily from C-Span
Where they were discussing legislation with enormous implications
Quite a few states decided to turn one country into nations

It started with a report that no one intelligent would believe
On Elephant News about how the blue states planned to leave
The United States despite a total absence of legitimate evidence
But they said evidence is for liberals – one of their classic arguments
And that liberals can take it with them when they leave
The anchor, for one, wasn’t going to grieve

The chance of that happening seemed really bleak
Until several Senators returned from vacation last week
With no more will to serve, and legally binding documentation
Naming successors to their seats as well as official resignations
And each of the named successors in one of the GOP’s
Most loyal - some suspect foul play, but they say, “Shared epiphanies”


Combined with the recess appointment of the crazy A.G.
Secession seemed be the only way to stop the lunacy
Or at least keep it in another country, where it wouldn’t be such a big deal
Since when tragedies occur a long way away they never seem nearly as real
Twenty states chose to leave the American nation
But New York recanted when threatened with invasion
So I’m stuck in a country where corporate supporters of journalistic crimes
Are much more trusted and respected than papers like the New York Times
Maybe I should make my case certain to fail
Since I feel like I might be better off in jail