Home Again, Finally

I took the long road home alone and it was frustrating
But at least I'd have stories to tell if I resumed dating
And I’d have time for writing and independent enjoyment
And searching for a satisfactory source of employment
This may be sour grapes, but sour grapes are still more sweet
Than grapefruits, which I absolutely refuse to eat

I was entitled to have thoughts all over the place
Because of where I’d been, but it wasn’t the case
That my trip caused it – I think like that when I’m fine
It’s because of a minor rambling problem of mine

While all sorts of thoughts were occupying my mind
A pickpocket was able to sneak up from behind
And took all the money in my left pocket at the time
Which was a quarter, a nickel, two pennies and a dime
My life would have immediately become a train wreck
If he picked the pocket that still contained Nick’s check

Partially because I needed each and every cent
But also to make him earn what he stole, I went
After him as fast as my full stomach allowed
Until he disappeared into a crowd

The crowd had assembled for a good reason
Which was a man was swinging from a tree in
The middle of a clearing and singing a song
Which sounded familiar but the words were all wrong

And as he took a break for the band to play
A religious-looking man was seen a quarter mile away
Which seemed as relevant as rocks on which lichens thrived
Until a couple of minutes later, when the running man arrived
And pushed through the crowd and scrambled up the bark
And brought down a man looking scared like he’d seen a shark