More Malicious Lies

I decided that if I was going to hear something terrifying
I’d hear it from a source that was definitely lying
So I switched to the most pachydermal news channel on cable
Where they showed a nurse by a big lump on an operating table
The heart monitor’s line became erratic, which prompted the nurse to call
The doctors, but a cute little girl with cute little dog in the hall
Distracted them, and although the exact amount of time is unknown
The screen said “Ten minutes later” then showed the nurse on the phone

She said, “We tried but couldn’t save him, he was just too fat
I can’t say exactly who it was, because I’m afraid that
It will bring bad luck, but he made evil documentaries
We tried to help because of the oath, but the doctors couldn’t enter the
Room – there was a kid and dog – anyway the oath is Hippocratical
So from a hypocrite - therefore liberal and the bad meaning of radical
In that case my conscience feels okay
If we ignored what that dead foreigner had to say
There is some concern regarding a malpractice suit
But we have an excuse – the dog was just so cute”

Then it cut back to the anchor – whose face always stayed the same
Who said that due to the death of the director-not-to-be-named
When encountering what looks like him, we should make the deduction
That it’s an evil robot built by liberals to cause America’s destruction
And since it’s not alive it’s fine to shoot it on sight
That station may be right wing, but it sure isn’t right