Sandoco's Quiz Show

A new lawyer came in and he seemed less sketchy
But when I stated the situation, he got very kvetchy
If I couldn’t say my alibi I did not really have a case
Then he left the room quite quickly like he was in a walking race

I found out why my first lawyer acted in such a shady way
He knew that soon he’d be a shoo-in to be the new D.A.
He was trying to get information so he could learn it and then he
Could wait to conduct my prosecution and use the facts against me

With no lawyers around, I turned on the TV
Elephant News again. Why? Don’t ask me
But instead of news there was a game show
Sponsored by a new oil company called Sandoco
They have questions for points, and the contestant who manages to earn
The most gets stock in Sandoco and the opportunity to return
Second place gets two hundred dollars, which is supplied
By the loser of the show, who is supposed to also lose pride
But losing on that show would not cause me shame
Due to the ridiculous nature of the game

One question that I felt summed the show up very well
Was, “Who in the past hundred years most deserves to burn in hell?”
One contestant said Hitler, and he was told he wasn’t right
Another one said George W. Bush, and the host looked like he might
Hurt him but said he was brainwashed and had the brains of a cow
And might as well forfeit two hundred dollars right now
The next contestant guessed Osama, and for this the host stayed calm
And said it was a good guess, but the correct answer is Saddam

Then the contestant who guessed Bush said that he could not respect
A show that insisted that only one opinion could be correct
And the host said, “My powerful bosses agree with me, and that is enough reason
To take my opinions as absolute truth – if you disagree it is treason”

Another question and its answers that particularly stood out
Was, “What event in American history should you be most happy about?”
One contestant guessed, “When the Declaration of Independence was signed?”
And the host told him no like saying so meant he was out of his mind
Another said it was when we bombed the Japanese
The reply was, “That wasn’t nearly the greatest. Jeez!”
The last guess was freeing the slaves, and the host requested elaboration
It seemed clear that he meant the 1860s emancipation
Which is what the contestant said, then that absolute hack
Hosting the show said no – it was the liberation of Iraq