An Unexpected War

Intruder

I am here to act upon a declaration of war
Donna Jones offended me. I must settle the score
My son came back from school and no longer prays
Her daughter converted him to her godless hippie ways
I have the papers here to prove that I paid the proper fee
And she was told to prepare to face the wrath of me
At the post office they said they were sure
She’d get it by yesterday if not before
Hey judge, take a look

Juror #9
This isn’t right

Judge

The same could be said of a heavyweight fight
But it’s as binding as if you’d been subpoenaed

Juror #9

This is so unfair! I am being Katrinaed
I was given insufficient notice to escape a dangerous situation

Judge

That term is vile since it disrespects a great administration

Juror #9

Please help! Have you no heart?

Judge

Request denied
The two warring parties must now step outside
This court doesn’t need bloodstains on its wood
War in general is great, but up close it’s no good
(A shot is heard, and then a shriek -
That kind of occurrence would become far from unique)
Since the jury has eleven now, I’ll put myself in it
The trial must go on if the right side is to win it.

Prosecution

How can I get a confession out of you?

Witness

I will not confess to what I didn’t do
Prosecution

If not you than who on Earth should we prosecute instead?

Witness

As far as I know, no one that you said I killed is dead.

Prosecution

Are you suggesting that New York’s Finest would err
And arrest you for a double murder that didn’t occur?
Police are part of the government – is the government flawed?
Or did you do something that only terrorists would applaud?

Witness

That question can’t be valid. I’m certain that it breaks a rule

Judge

Answer or my gavel will become an orifice-probing tool

Witness

Fine, there current government is full of flaws
I feel like we’ve forgotten the purpose of laws

Judge

We would still get you for murder, but there is no reason
To deal with appeals when you just committed treason
Forever shall you be locked away
Never to again to see the light of day
And the gavel threat was just a bluff
Your skin isn’t nearly dark enough